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What to Say When … You're Dying on the Platform

Amazon link: What to Say When. . .You're Dying on the Platform: A Complete Resource for Speakers, Trainers, and Executives

A heckler is in the audience; the overhead projector breaks; the allotted speech time runs out—these are just some of the panic-producing crises, interruptions, or distractions easily dealt with in this first-aid guide for business speakers.

Here, first-timers and experienced pros alike will find everything they need to organize, write, and deliver effective, entertaining speeches—from installations to toasts and roasts.

The guide pinpoints every possible speaking contingency—from failed electricity to a bored audience—and for each one tells how to prevent it, what to do about it, and what to say about it. Its treasury of witty, off-the-cuff lines and audience participation devices helps speakers access the perfect words to cover any situation and captivate any audience.

  • Table of Symptoms
  • Who's Who of the Celebrity Speakers
  • Introduction: Before You Worry About What to Say When
  • Acknowledgments
  • Curative for Speech Delivery Problems. What to Say When:
    • Your Joke or Story Bombs
    • They Don't Applaud
    • You Forget Your Talk or Freeze During the Talk
    • You Get Sidetracked in the Middle of the Talk
    • You Want to Use Notes
    • You Run Out of Time
    • You Go Overtime
    • You Are Forced to Start the Talk Late (Your Time Is Cut)
    • You Arrive Late
    • They Ask You to Go an Extra 30 Minutes
    • You Run Out of Things to Say Before the Time Allotted Is Finished
    • You Realize You Have Not Been Given the Correct Information About the Audience
    • You Are into Your Story and Realize the Speaker Before You Has Already Told It
    • You Stumble over the Pronunciation of a Name or Word
    • You Trip on the Way to the Lectern
    • You Sweat
    • Your Feet Hurt
    • You're Wearing a Cast
    • You Cough, Sneeze, Have a Hoarse Throat, Pass Gas
    • You Get Really Ill Before or During the Talk
    • You Need to Use the Restroom While You Are Talking
    • You Need to Go on When Your Heart Is Heavy
  • Antidotes to Audience Problems. What to Say When
    • They Cough, Sneeze, Belch, Pass Wind
    • An Audience Member Becomes Seriously Iii
    • The Whole Audience Is Ill (or Hung Over)
    • The Audience Doesn't Care About Your Talk (No Interest)
    • The Audience Doesn't Want to Be There (Bad Attitude)
    • The Audience Has Just Had Bad News or Is Depressed
    • The Audience Has Just Had Good News
    • You Lose Control of a Wildly Enthusiastic Crowd
    • Hostiles and Critics Are in Your Audience
    • The Audience Starts Arguing with One Another in the Middle of Your Presentation
    • Ill-Mannered Louts Invade Your Presentation
    • People Make Sexual Innuendos to You During (or After) the Presentation
    • The Heckler Is a 2-Year-Old
    • You Don't Want to Answer the Question
    • You Don't Know the Answers to Their Questions
    • They Won't Ask Any Questions
    • You Can't Hear the Question
    • Someone Asks a Question That You Already Answered
    • You Don't Understand the Question
    • You Lose the Meaning When Working Through the Translator
    • English Is Their Second or Third Language
    • Presenting to a Culture (or Country) Other Than Your Own
    • They Yell, "I Can't Hear You"
    • Members of Your Audience Are Physically Disabled
    • You Say or Do Something Really Embarrassing (the Faux Pas)
    • You Misquote-and Get Caught!
    • You Plagiarize-and Get Caught!
    • You Go to Jail for Using Music in Your Talk
    • You Ask Them to Read Something, Then Realize They Can't Read!
    • You Are Speaking to an "Empty House"
    • The Audience Members Arrive Late During Your Talk
    • They Don't Want to Come Back-or Come Back Late After Breaks
    • An Unexpected Event Leads to a Long Break in the Action
    • You Want to Get a Standing Ovation
    • The "Stars" In Your Audience Think They Know More Than You Do
    • The Audience Really Does Know More Than You
    • Someone Starts Giving a Speech in the Middle of Your Speech
    • You Disagree with Your Audience
    • Your Temper Is About to Explode
    • The Audience Starts Walking Out Before You Are Done
    • Audience Members Are Too Shy to Volunteer
    • Your Audience Is Nodding in the Afternoon Slump
    • Someone Falls Asleep During Your Presentation
    • You Just Can't Think of a Witty Retort
  • Room and Equipment Afflictions. What to Say When:
    • The Mic Acts Up
    • The Mic Stand Needs to Be Adjusted
    • The Electricity Fails and the Lights Go Off
    • The Lighting Is Terrible (People Can't See You)
    • You're Blinded by the Light
    • The Room Is Too Hot
    • The Room Is Too Cold
    • The Room Is Too Small, Packed Too Tight, Set Up Wrong, Not Enough Chairs
    • The Overhead or Slide Projector Acts Up
    • The Light Goes Out in the Projector
    • Your Highlighter Runs Out of Ink
    • You Run Out of Handouts
    • You Drop Your Prop, Visual, or Document
    • Someone Hands You a Piece of Paper
    • Servers Start Clearing the Room While You Are Talking
    • A Photographer Is Taking Pictures During Your Talk
    • The Audience Is Distracted by Something Else in the Room
    • There's a Sudden Boom, Bang, or Crash from Outside the Room
    • Continuous Loud Noises Interrupt from Outside the Room
    • An Announcement or Music Comes Unexpectedly over the PA System
    • Someone's Pager or Personal Phone Goes Off
    • The Fire Alarms Go Off
    • The Sprinklers Go Off
    • You Need to Kill Time While Staff Takes Care of the Problem
    • Any Type of Technical or Mechanical Problem Occurs
  • Miscellaneous Maladies. What to Say When:
    • Your Introducer Is Awful
    • The "Other" Presenter Does Not Show Up
    • The Presenter or Jokester Before You Is Embarrassing
    • The Presenter Before You Attacks You
    • The Presenter on the Platform with You Attacks You
    • The Presenter After You Attacks You
    • The Presentation Before You Is So Outstanding, It's a Hard Act to Follow
    • The Presenter Before You Is So Boring, the Audience Is Dead
    • You Notice Misssspelllled Words in Your Materials
    • Your Luggage Has Been Lost
    • Part of You Is Showing That Shouldn't Be
    • You Spill Something on Yourself During the Meal
    • The Meal Is Served Very Late
    • The Weather Is Bad
    • Terrorists or Gang Members Crash Your Presentation
    • Other People Want Permission to Quote You
    • You Want to Keep Roasts from Going Up in Flames
    • The Speech Bombs-Your Ego Is Shattered
    • Your Ego Is Overdone
    • Miscellaneous Funnies You Can't Wait to Use
  • Group Therapy: Simple Audience Participation Exercises. What to Say When:
    • You Have to Leave the Room in a Hurry! Try These, Simple and Quick
    • Props and Preparation: Exercises for Getting Everyone Involved
    • Setup and Practice: Exercises for Building Experiential Learning
  • An Ounce of Prevention-Speech Design and Preparation Strategies
    • How to Design Your Speech
      • Choosing the Topic
      • Setting Clear Objectives
      • Building Audience Retention
      • Polishing Your Delivery
    • Simple Speech Outlines and Models
      • Half-Sticky Method for Developing a Presentation Quickly
      • The Jigsaw Management Model
      • The Adendorif Speech Model
    • What to Say When
      • You Open the Speech
      • You Want to Touch Their Heartstrings
      • You Close the Speech
    • Surefire Savers for Any Situation
  • Appendix: Resources
  • Glossary of Speaking Terms
  • Index

 

“The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not turbulence; it is to act with yesterday’s logic”. — Peter Drucker


The shift from manual workers who do as they are being told — either by the task or by the boss — to knowledge workers who have to manage themselves ↓ profoundly challenges social structure

Managing Oneself is a REVOLUTION in human affairs.” … “It also requires an almost 180-degree change in the knowledge workers’ thoughts and actions from what most of us—even of the younger generation—still take for granted as the way to think and the way to act.” …

… “Managing Oneself is based on the very opposite realities: Workers are likely to outlive organizations (and therefore, employers can’t be depended on for designing your life), and the knowledge worker has mobility.” ← in a context

 

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